Help is not a bad thing – note to self!
I’ve never needed to ask for much help in all my days, the thought of relying on someone for support is crazy almost debilitating to me.
But when my emotions began to take me on a journey, talking to others and hearing their stories of triumph and tragedy has helped to give me courage and taught me that support from others is essential for progress.
As I started to limit the voices that spoke into my space, I realised that positivity and future focus is key. Arlicia Albert from Texas told me how she was able to recover from a Brain Aneurysm; the strength of her family as well as her personal resilience and strength was music to my ears.
Johnathan McReynolds (2015) song “Limp”:-
“The devil hoped this injury would make me stop and take defeat, but I know that Jesus walks with me so I’ll just keep walking with my limp”. The limp represents an imperfection or impediment that may hinder progress, nevertheless, your resilience will cause you to dig deep into your mental and spiritual strength.
As I learn about a side of myself and emotions that have the capacity to dis-mantle your destiny I put systems in place to help myself.
The practical things like open front pyjamas and compression underwear, the additional support from my domestic assistant.
The executive support in my business that are able to make critical decisions in my absence.
The Black Women Rising Cancer support group – women sharing stories that allow me to extract the wisdom from their circumstance.
Conversations with John my solicitor; paradoxically we pray and hope for the best and prepare for the worst, leaving no stone unturned.
My spiritual support – those that pray with me and for me.
By the time the nurse called to say surgery will be on 6th December, I hesitated almost like I needed to see if this date is convenient for me. Her authoritarian tone said to me – ‘you don’t actually have a choice’.
This is all becoming more and more real. Eczema symptoms of stress in my hair, shopping for pyjamas and compression underwear, support groups.
My bed became my safe place, warm, I could disappear under my duvet, I could have un- interrupted thoughts, I would just lay there for hours. Sometimes my thoughts were not healthy, but they were realistic- what if I don’t make it out of surgery?
I’m sharing this because I want you to get comfortable with checking your breasts (If you are a male check yours too because breast cancer doesn’t only effect women). Recognise what “normal” looks like so that you can be aware when things are abnormal. Cancer does not discriminate! I know this to be true. 💕💕
Check your breasts.